This article was originally published in partnership with  DigitalUndivided.com

While volunteering as a college admissions coordinator for an after-school program in Chicago, I was frequently asked by the Executive Director to share my story.  Coming from a small town, I moved to the city for grad school and secured an internship at the largest women’s organization in the country only months later which helped build my reputation as young social activist.   I was flattered to be asked, but usually shied away from opportunities like “sharing my story”. I grew up with many advantages that many of the youth at the program did not. What could I possibly tell these students that wouldn’t reek of cultural privilege?

I suggested to the ED that finding an alumni of the program who would be willing to lead a workshop for the students would be more appropriate.  After patiently hearing my concerns, the ED still insisted I be the one to spotlight: “You’re not there yet, but you’re working on it consistently.  Not giving in to the struggle. That’s how we want to inspire these kids”.  Knowing how I respond to typical started-from-the-bottom tales, I agreed with him that sharing my story from a view that focused more on the process rather than the end result was the best way to go.

Lately, I’ve sensed that people have also become immune to common success stories.  By immune, I mean shut off completely for the sake of allowing themselves time to develop without the pressure to be great now and fast.  It’s amazing to see so many women of color winning, but I think the hire up the ladder we climb, the more we tend to forget.  We forget about the hunger, the drive, that moment we finally woke up and decided to do something.  We forget about the long hours drafting business plans, paying out of pocket for those extra courses to expand our skills, the preparation that went into the most important sales pitch of our careers, or even the number of calls we made before securing our first big donor.  

Being guilty myself, there is much I rather forget.  Sure, networking with influencers sounds more glamorous in giving details about my come-up, but what exactly would I prove by pushing that particular image forward and ignoring the hurdles?  In the process of doing all-nighters to learn code, taking overtime at my 9 to 5 to save more money for future ventures, and writing pro-bono to gain exposure, I’ve learned to enjoy the process.  The process is a story many can relate to, regardless of privilege.

Stepping out to fulfill a dream on your own is frightening.  As leaders or entrepreneurs, we experience failure, closed doors, longer hours, and get used to hearing “no” more often than we readily admit.  By teaching those we mentor how to not fear struggle and face it in order to reach goals, we not only give them hope, but encouragement in building a healthy work ethic.